A very productive weekend follows a frustrating, circular week where I just got stuck in a repetitive loop of misery. Going round and round, trying things and doing things, making things I’m bored of and uninspired by. Starting things, dropping them halfway through, constantly second guessing myself. It’s hard to separate the ‘shit stage’ of a piece that you struggle through to reach an actually decent work and the shit stage of a work that’s just… well, shit. I started about 5 things and ended up hating them all during the week. Until the weekend when I had some actual time to get stuck into something (thanks to a brill husband who took Yoyo out for a few hours so I could sleep). That and deleting Instagram and Facebook from my phone so I stopped just scrolling through stuff when feeding Yoyo. I just fill my head with so much crap that way. Inundated by images of talented people doing amazing things; bigger, better and loved by more people than me… Just felt so weighed down by the image of everyone’s success you can feel like total worthless crap quite easily. It’s kind of debilitating and definitely restrictive. So I’m only on FB/IG when at the computer now and it’s helped! So much! Here’s something I started and dropped and picked up again on the weekend, just taking my time playing with things in Photoshop that I felt like I didn’t have the time to do before; from rough sketch, to gouache paint to messing around on Photoshop. I really need to feel engaged with my work and the challenge for me atm is to create work that allows me to experiment and stay engaged with the work but which is also appealing to others and to a certain standard. Whatever that it is.
A crying baby calls.
Feels good to be working pencil on paper again. Though this time I’m playing with pens and markers to colour up. So much faster! Still playing with clothes for Yoyo and have set myself a project to improve my/get some (!!) lettering skills. So, things are going pretty ok this week. Nice working on paper cos you let the little line wobbles and slight mishaps go instead of constantly hitting undo undo undo… & loving just doodling on the clothes. No planning or sketching beforehand & just straight in with the colours 🙂 Yoyo’s been more or less cooperative lately though last night she kept cry-yelling from a bad bout of wind. And when she wasn’t doing that she was sucking her hands so loudly they made a smack-smacking sound. And that’s what woke me at 7.30am, followed by a loud squelchy fart which hastened my jumping out of bed to change her before shit leaked everywhere. Another wondrous, beautiful morning.
What did painting mothers do before ipads? I like this quote:
Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only
– Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Said about female writers and the idea that there’s always some housework etc they feel they ‘should’ be doing that gets in the way of writing. All time is stolen at the moment. And today the thing I felt I ‘should’ be doing instead of cracking on with all the ideas and works I have going was cleaning the explosive shit Yoyo had whilst in her car seat. It went right up her back, through her clothes and the car seat onto the plastic shell. She was wearing a onesie so it was a challenge getting her top off without smearing shit up her back and everywhere else. Needless to say, I didn’t succeed but we counted a shitless face a win. She went straight in the shower with streaks of pooey pumpkin soup yellows up her back, in her armpit etc etc. So, I am glad I got a bit of drawing time in earlier in the week.
Also had time to visit Rone working at Wall to Wall in Benalla yesterday and see Adnate’s mural in a tiny church in Goorambat. It was brill.
Got into the studio (garage) to sneak in a bit of painting tonight after dinner. Started this about 1 week after Yoyo was born. She’s now 13 weeks old. On top of time and energy constraints, today’s a day for battling doubts. The usual barage of, “This is shit!” and “You’re never going to get there! You’re shit!!” Arg.
An overactive midnight mind meant another dazed day, leading to missing the golden window of opportunity to settle Yoyo for her morning nap, resulting in an unscheduled drive to town to lull her to sleep (and stop her yell/crying). Once there, coffee, cake and shopping ensued. Obvs.
And a trip to Cheap As Chips to wonder around aimlessly after picking up a caulking gun and a 110 litre plastic tub, which I had to carry around with a sprained left wrist (over-did it whilst lopping old wood in the garden for kindling). So, this blog may also be a whinge-fest, but maybe whinging is a big part of my process. Pulling into park, I briefly wondered if disabled spots should also be used by mothers because having kids may not be a disability but it certainly is a handicap.
I could leap into a full-on whinge here but I went to Bunnings afterwards, which always brings at least a pissy-yellow stain of sunshine to a crappy day. I wondered around in a daze looking at various tools and equipment, imagining the brilliant things I could make/do with them: I could paint the mouldy bit on the ceiling finally, I could make a storage rack, I could build a shack for the garden. I could change my life around. Hardware and DIY stores don’t sell down-to-earth, handy tools and solutions to real issues – they sell dreams. They sell dreams they know you’re doomed to ruin. That’s why they also have workshops and project advice; to counsel you, to console you. So you keep returning.
I picked up some black gloves for painting because I saw how all these really cool and successful guys on Instagram with 20 million followers and loads of amazing jobs/clients etc. wore them. I dreamed that they would make my paintings immediately 20 million times more successful. And then I picked up a $50 tub of Taubmans oil based preparation sealant and primer. I had it in my hand ready to go, with visions of how it was the missing ingredient to getting that finish I’m after on my paintings, and just then Yoyo started groaning and grizzling from inside her pram. Her voice was muffled under the hood I had pulled up to keep the light out so she’d sleep longer. And with that muffled groan my vision-bubble burst and I put the paint back on the shelf. Who am I kidding – I’m not going to need that tub of paint for a long while.
Hello, my baby girl arrived right at the end of last year and she’s been keeping me pretty busy. I make work every chance I get, and have completed a few commissions & projects since her arrival. I made an animation to my song, Mess Head, on my phone using Animation Desk. It will be screened as part of For Films Sake Festival in Sydney at The Wild Rover (75 Campbell St, Surry Hills) from 27 – 29 April, 4pm – midnight. And I’ve been making little sketches of her on my phone using Sketch whilst I feed her. It keeps me awake and helps pass the time.
I’d like to have more time and energy to get on with the paintings I’ve been busting to make since before she was born. And I neeeed to play with spray paint since I’m finally in a place where I can. But between changing nappies and scrubbing shit off towels and mothers groups and cleaning the house and no lie-ins and always broken sleep etc etc yawn etc – the usual stuff mothers list on their daily to dos… it’s going to take me a little longer to build up the stamina/energy/organisational/prioritisation skills to do all that and create the things I need to. But I’m getting there. And I hope to have time to document my progress on here, more as a reflection for myself than anything, but if you’re here and you’re reading this then Hi & I hope you come back sometime to see how things are going. & maybe say Hi back, that’d be nice 🙂
To vote, head over to the ‘Balls’ VOTD page: http://votd.tv/nominees/1070/balls-i
Finally I can reveal which Secret 7″ cover was mine! Also, a bit about the process, from Jelly London blog. I like it, but I dunno if it sold :/
Working on a new video for my song about balls…
Style icon/art agent @jessie_cake mixing it up with pink socks, gold shoes & my FRS ‘bananaz’ leggings
Send me your pics if you have a pair! 🙂
Currently working in Hong Kong til Feb with this luxury spacious set-up. What’s going on people!! I need something to do other than eat and shop…
I decided to kick off 2015 with a quick behind the scenes q&a with my hugely lovable agents Jelly. Click the link to have a snoop 🙂
Behind The Scenes with Mimi Leung
Hey my ‘Money’ video is today’s VIDEO OF THE DAY!! thanks for voting everyone 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Have a look at the link if you’ve not seen it yet:
I liked the Final Fantasy 7 fan art I made for Matter magazine so much I printed it out and framed it. Give me a shout if anyone else wants one, (how much would you pay for A3??), I’ll get some made up if there are enough takers
Have a look at the article – 7 other artists draw and comment on their childhood game loves & how it shaped their creative output…
My ‘Money’ video has been nominated for ‘Video Of The Day’ on the VOTD site – please spread the word and cast a vote for $$$$ – THANKS! It’ll be up for voting for the next 4 days x
Finally finished this music video for a song I recorded called Money. It’s an amalgamation of original artwork and appropriated clips and the internet.
Thanks mega heaps to Pete Shand for the character animation, time, patience, advice and technical knowledge!
Detail from my (3 x 2 ish m) outdoor mural at Jacky Winter’s HQ in Collingwood in Melbourne, AUS 🙂 A warm up to my Australian Roadkill exhibition opening this Thursday, 10th July, 6- 9 at Lamington Drive, 101a Sackville Street, Collingwood.